Dare to be yourself!

With Mother’s Day approaching, I can’t help but wonder what it means to be a mother these days. Like so many other images surrounding us, motherhood seems more packaged than ever. Some ideal mother-image exists that captures the essential right-way to be a mom. Your child’s entire future hangs in the balance.

I’m sorry to say, I even preach it sometimes: the early years are a critical time for emotional attachment; family mealtimes are the mainstay of family communication; try to be calm when your child is pushing your buttons. Unfortunately, the messages when delivered by a “professional” can easily be heard as: know all the answers, be perfect, do it all. Mothers are oppressed by external standards. You get caught chasing the ideal - trying to be your “child’s first teacher” exposing your child to enriching experiences all the while building and guarding your child’s fragile self esteem in a treacherous world.

What image lurks in the back in your head as you read the following sentence? Good mothers are _______________________________________________. Patient, loving, and kind. Yes. Giving, fair, and resourceful. Yes. Is that enough? The list will haunt you because it is never-ending. And then, what about all those other things that mothers are – tired, rushed, frustrated and sometimes angry? Those are good mothers too. Those are real mothers having genuine relationships with children who have needs that are constantly changing all while being a woman who also has needs in a complex adult world.

And so, with all the choices that you face as mothers today, I ask you to make one. Dare to be yourself. Make motherhood fit you instead of trying to fit your very real three-dimensional self into a two-dimensional role. You are enough.

Especially in this world where appearances are often sold as the real deal, you are more than enough. Your child needs a person nearby if you want him to grow into a person. Your child needs to live in “real time” if you want her to think and feel and wonder. You will always want to do more and be better for your child. And you will, tomorrow. Today you are enough.